The Adventures of Little Pik Pik
by Thepikminmaster
Summary: A selection of adventures written over the period of two years on the Pikmin Board on IGN. They were well received there and I think this is a better way to archive them and organise them, as well as go back and rewrite the older ones. 20 in total.
1. Introduction

_What you're about to read a selection of adventures from the series originally known as 'The Preposterous, Peculiar, Outrageous and Amazing Adventures of Little Pik Pik'. It is old in some places, so I shall upload them in instalments. First we shall have Adventures #1-#9. Currently, #1 and #9 are the only one re-written but I shall go through these and redo them to bring them up to date and more...fitting._

_Whilst this is going on, I shall make a commentary parallel on the Board itself, which many of you should know. You may not be interested in this, which I entirely understand and I hope you enjoy the humour portrayed in these adventures (especially #9 and onward), so I suggest you grab some coffee. These aren't very long and they were written script-like so if you want to produce them into animations (or even podcasts, which sounds a fun idea) then by all means, do so. I would be honoured._

_So here we have the collection of Little Pik Pik; A History. May it provide you with some entertainment._


	2. Adventure 1

Adventure #1: Little Pik Pik and the Nova Blaster 

One day, little Pik Pik was called out the onion. It was a normal, emphasis on normal, day. And so, Pik Pik went wandering as he did. Crimson decided to join him, for fear of Olimar.

Crimson: I think he's planning to eat us.

Pik Pik: Probably.

And they found an object. A large rocket shaped device, flashing.

Pik Pik: Jackpot!

Crimson: Is that…a gun?

Pik Pik: Yes! Fun has arrived!

Olimar: Why that's my Nova Blaster! It can destroy whole stars in a super nova!

Suddenly, Olimar had appeared with some pikmin. Scarlet too. Pik Pik: (Aw man…)

Scarlet: Quite cliché to be called a Nova Blaster.

Olimar: Hey, I named it!

Scarlet: No wonder.

Olimar: My mom says I'm good at naming…like Fluffles our bulldog.

Little Pik Pik went round the back and saw an array of buttons.

Pik Pik: Wow! Buttons! Button Smashing Time!

He pressed one button that suddenly strapped him to a chair.

Pik Pik: Uh oh. Scarlet: Hey! That's the control seat!

Olimar: Don't touch anything! It's probably electrified and very dangerous!...I'll help from over here!

Scarlet: Pik pik, get out of it.

Pik Pik looked at the buttons. All the names had washed out.

Pik Pik: Uh oh. I don't know which one to press! They're rubbed out! I can't tell the taco button from the…I don't know!

He pressed one a random. A small zap missed two of the pikmin.

Pik Pik: Oops.

Falu: Hey, I'm walking here!

Another zap missed five of the pikmin.

Pik Pik: Oops again.

Rosewood: Not to be mean or anything, but that's not a good idea, seeing as we might die! Pik Pik: Okay, how about this one.

He pressed a third button. The nova blaster then suddenly started to shoot rapid fires.

Olimar: Oh damn.

Scarlet: Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!

Pik Pik: What's this steering wheel here for?

Olimar: Don't turn it!

Pik Pik turned it. The rapid fires moved to the right. All of the pikmin quickly moved out the way.

Olimar: I said DON'T turn it.

Pik Pik: What's that? You said 'PLEASE turn it, and KEEP turning it till everyone dies'?

Scarlet: Stop messing about!

Pik Pik tried to turn it the other way, but it wouldn't budge. Then it broke off in his hands.

Pik Pik: Uh oh.

Scarlet: Great. Whenever you say uh-oh, it's always worse than worse.

The Nova blaster began to spin around, firing rapidly and missing a lot of the other red pikmin by a millimetre.

Pik Pik: I can't stop it!

Olimar: Get down!

Crimson: MY EYES!

Scarlet: Stop messing around, idiot! *pulls him onto the ground*

Crimson: _(She touched me. She likes me! I must strike up conversation.)_

Pik Pik started to press random buttons, unleashing the works from the Blaster.

Pik Pik: Wow, magerita! Ow, boxing glove! Oooh, fireworks! AAA, VIPER! Aaah, gone.

Olimar ran for his life as the rapid fires followed him round. It seems lying down like the pikmin had occurred to him and running away was a better idea.

Olimar: TURN IT OFF!

Pik Pik: I'M TRYING!

Olimar: I NEVER SAW UP! I WAS TOO BUSY WITH PAPERWORK! I CRIED AT BAMBI! I DRINK AND SMOKE…OCCASIONALLY!

Crimson: Oh yeah, gold mine! *scribbles facts onto 'Blakkmale Lizt'*

Then, as Pik Pik pressed the last button, the fires stopped. Olimar lay down, tired. The machine dropped Pik Pik.

Pik Pik: That was fun!

He started to walk away, but tripped on Rosewood, who had fallen asleep. He bumped the machine and the fires started again. Pik Pik jumped out the way, but Olimar quickly jumped up and started to run again.

Olimar: AAAAAAAAAH!

Pik Pik walked to Crimson and Scarlet. Crimson was stammering and Scarlet was looking at him, bored-like.

Crimson: Shouldn't we help him?

Pik Pik: Naah. It's his punishment for making only fifteen of us carry the fuel dynamo. Also it's really funny to watch!

Scarlet: To be honest with you…I think he deserves it. Not seeing Up demands death.

Crimson: I see…I have to go…check the oven…and see if the weather…died…

And so the three of them left Olimar, and slowly, the crowd of pikmin disintegrated too. Until finally, it became night, and the beasts began eyeing Olimar…

Olimar: WHY? WHY! WHYYYYYY! *sniffle*


	3. Adventure 2

Adventure 2#: Little Pik Pik Meets Louie 

When Olimar called out the pikmin, Little Pik Pik was greeted by an ugly face.

Pik Pik: AAAH! WHAT IS IT!

Olimar: His name's Louie, and he's my...

Pik Pik: HE'S A BULBORB! KILL IT!

Crimson: Yeah!

Scarlet: Uh guys?

But it was too late. Crimson and Pik Pik were carrying Louie to the nearest fire geiser.

Scarlet: Olimar, shouldn't you do something?

Olimar: Well, I don't really want to...

Louie: AAAH! I'M ON FIRE!

Louie had been set on fire by the geiser, but had quickly put himself out by jumping in the water.

Pik Pik: Quick! Drown him!

He and Crimson quickly jumped onto Louie's head, careful to stay out the water. They bounced on top to push it under the surface.

Louie: Hey! Stoppit! Your bouncing is banging my head!

Louie's helmet wasn't letting any water in.

Pik Pik: It's not good enough! Throw him to the poison pipes!

He and Crimson threw Louie by a poison pipe. But Louie's helmet protected him again.

Crimson: There's still something we can do! Throw him against the electric fence!

Louie: No. No! NO!

They carried and threw poor Louie against the electric fence. They then quickly put on sunglasses to protect their eyes from the bright flashes.

Louie: !

But soon, Louie had managed to crawl a safe distance from the fence. But his suit was burnt and he was exhausted.

Pik Pik: There's only one last thing to do! Throw him to his cannibal friends.

They picked up the screaming and kicking Louie, and threw him at three small dwarf bulbears and a sleeping bulbear. They all woke up.

Louie: AAAAAAAAH!

They pounced on him as Crimson and Pik Pik walked back with smiles on their faces.

Crimson: We have saved all pikmin kind!

Scarlet had folded her arms and was looking sternly at them.  
>Later, they found Louie with a blue face. Mainly because his helmet had a small hole in it. Olimar carried him to the ship.<p>

Ship: Well, it looks like this Louie is dead from poison.

Pik Pik and Crimson: Hurrah!

Ship: But don't worry, we have hundreds of Louie clones left!

Pik Pik and Crimson: AAAAH!

Scarlet: Here we go again.


	4. Adventure 3

Adventure 3#: Little Pik Pik meets his Rival 

One day, as Pik Pik was called out, Olimar showed him the yellow pikmin he had found reacently.

Pik Pik: AAAAAH! BULBORBS IN PIKMIN DISGUISES!

Olimar: NO! No. These are the yellow pikmin. They are a new type of pikmin.

The red pikmin started to greet the yellow pikmin.

Olimar: I'll leave you to it

Pik Pik: I'm Pik Pik

One Yellow Pikmin: I'm Canary

Pik Pik: So what's so special about you guys anyway?

Canary: Well, we can be thrown much higher than you can

Pik Pik: Yeah...

Canary: And we can carry bomb rocks

Pik Pik: Yeah...

Canary: And we can survive electricity

Pik Pik: Damn! Uh, he, I mean 'oooooh!'

As Olimar took the yellow pikmin to collect some treasures, Pik Pik started to talk to Scarlet and Crimson.

Pik Pik: We need to get back at those yellow snobs!

Scarlet: Must we?

Crimson: Maybe we should drown them?

Pik Pik: Actually, I've got a much better idea...

Later that day, Olimar left the pikmin to wander about. Pik Pik marched up to Canary.

Pik Pik: We red pikmin are much tougher than you!

Canary: And how do you suppose you will prove that?

Pik Pik: I bet I can put a bomb rock in my onion, and it not explode

Canary: No way

Pik Pik: Yes way. But you have to carry it in

Canary picked up a bomb rock, and put it inside the red onion. But Crimson, who was already inside, threw a bucket of water over it to put it out. Canary was surprised.

Canary: Well if you can do it, then so can we

He picked up a bomb rock and put it inside the yellow onion. They waited. Nothing happened.

Canary: See

BOOM! All the pikmin flew through the air. All the yellow pikmin looked at their onion, now in pieces.

Canary: AAAAAARGH!

All the other Yellow Pikmin: CANARYYYYYYY!

Pik Pik and Crimson: YES!

Scarlet: I cannot wait to see what they do to the blue pikmin


	5. Adventure 4

Adventure 4#: Little Pik Pik and the Blue Pikmin 

Little Pik Pik jumped out of the onion (as he always did) and found that Olimar had found the Blue pikmin earlier in the day.

Pik Pik: Wow

Olimar: These are the blue pikmin. I hope you get along, not like the yellow pikmin. It took me ages to build that new onion

Olimar pointed to a crudely built onion that a few pikmin were running from as it groaned and snak. One blue pikmin shook hands with Pik Pik.

Blue Pikmin: I'm navy. What's your name?

Pik Pik: Pik Pik. So what's special about you?

Navy: We can swim

Pik Pik:... and?

Navy: And what?

Pik Pik: That's all?

Navy: Yeah. Why?

Pik Pik had to hold his breath to keep himself from laughing.

Pik Pik: Uh...pffght!...Yeah, that's (hee hee), that's...yeah...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Navy glared at Pik Pik and walked away. He took refuge in his onion.

Navy: I'll get revenge. We blue pikmin are the smartest kind. And we've collected a very special item!

Navy snuck into the depths of his onion...

Later that day, Pik Pika nd Crimson were mocking Scarlet when Navy jumped out the bushes, pointing an object at pik Pik.

Pik Pik: What the...

Navy: Ah ha! I've got you now! I've got revenge, for once I pull this trigger, a spark will emitt into the small barrel of gunpowder inside, and create an explosion that will force a lead ball out of this pistola so as to pierce your flesh, therefore killing you and rendering you useless. And then, I shall refill the barrel with gunpowder, place another lead ball down the pistola, pull the trigger, release the spark to create another explosion and force the other lead ball out of my pistola so as to pierce the flesh of your friend, therefore killing you and your friend and making my revenge plan complete! HA HA HA HA! Hey! Where'd you go!

Navy looked around. Pik Pik, Crismon and Scarlet had gone.

Navy: Damn it! I hate it when I do that!


	6. Adventure 5

Adventure 5#: Little Pik Pik and the Bulborb

While Oliamr was collecting, Pik Pik, Crismon snd Scarlet had got lost in the woods. But they had found a very odd round object with squiggles on the front. Now they were deciding how to take it back.

Crimson: Well I'm thinking, we lift it, and then move it

Pik Pik: That's much better than my idea!

Then, Pik Pik saw something.

Pik Pik: Hey look! It's Louie! He'll tell us how to get back to our onion!

Scarlet: Uh, that's not Louie

Pik Pik: Sure it is. HEY LOUIE!

Supposedly Louie: ROAR!

Scarlet: Hey! Shut up! That's a bulborb!

Pik Pik: Don't be stupid. That's Louie's nose so it has to be Louie!

Scarlet: It's not Louie!

Pik Pik: Yeah right! LOUIE!

Louie or bulborb: ROAR!

Scarlet: Oh f***! It's coming after us!

Most likely Bulborb: ROOAAAR!

Pik Pik: It's Louie. He's coming to help us. LOUIE! NOT OVER THERE! HERE!

Scarlet: SHUT UP AND RUN!

Crimson: Well I don't really want to...

Scarlet dragged them off as the bulborb started to run after them.

Pik Pik: Why's Louie so angry?

Scarlet: IT'S NOT F****** LOUIE!

They passed Canary.

Canary: Hey, why are you idiots runni-AAAAAAAH!

Canary caught up with them running.

Canary: WHAT DID YOU DO!

Scarlet: IT'S PIK PIK'S FAULT!

Pik Pik: Why are we runnigng from Louie?

Scarlet: IT'S NOT FREAKING LOUIE!

They passed Navy.

Navy: Now why would my enemies be running at a speed of 4mph at 3:28 exactly on tuesday?...AAAAAAAAAAH!

Navy ran up to their speed as well.

Navy: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!

Scarlet: IT'S PIK PIK'S FAULT!

Pik Pik: But it's...

Scarlet, Crimson & Canary: IT'S NOT F****** LOUIE!

Navy: We need a plan...

Navy thought.

Navy: I know! Quick! You distract the bulborb while a nip and get something.

MORE CHASING LATER...

Navy: Right, I have my pistola. I shall aim an accurate shot at the beast's heart, so when I pull the trigger, the spark will set off the gunpowder in the barrel and force the lead ball out and pierce the flesh outside the heart that shall travel through it and hit the heart, that will kill it and...

Scarlet: WILL YOU JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Navy took aim. he fired, but hit a tree. He fired again. It bounced off another tree and hit Oliamr's gold ship.

The Unknown Ship: Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit. Hamster Bottled Jelly Fruit.

Oliamr: I hate this planet.

Navy took one more shot. It bounced off several trees before hitting the bulborb. They walked up to it.

Canary: Wow!

Scarlet: Well done!

Crimson: Awesome!

Pik Pik: I-I-I (Sob) I c-c-can't believe we killed Louie!

Scarlet: Oh for!... Navy, give me that pistola!


	7. Adventure 6

Adventure #6: Little Pik Pik and the Cave Plot 

Olimar called over all the pikmin to him.

Olimar: Okay everyone, I'm going down into a cave with half of you, while the rest are being looked after by Louie Clone B.

Scarlet: What happenned to Louie Clone A?

Olimar: Let's say he had an unfortunate accident when he was sleeping next to a yellow pellet.

Random Yellow Pikmin: IT WASN'T MY FAULT! HE WAS ROUND! HE WAS YELLOW!

Olimar: Anyway, because of that accident, we had to get rid of an ugly mutant pikmin. So  
>now, I shall leave you all.<p>

With that, Olimar whistled half the pikmin to his side before jumping into a cave nearby. Pik Pik wasn't listening though. Instead, he was busy scheming.

Pik Pik: I have a plan

Crimson: A plan for what?

Scarlet: Right, I'm going on holiday for a month

Pik Pik: For our little friend Louie

Crimson: You mean Louie Clone B

Pik Pik: Whoever the guy is called! Anyway, I have a special surprise for him.

Pik Pik slowly walked to Louie Clone B.

Pik Pik: Excuse me Mr Clone B, but my friend fell down that nearby cave. Can you bend over it so I can can push you in I MEan let... you... look... at... him?

Louie CB: Alright

Louie CB bent over the hole to look down.

Louie CB: Can't see him. Are you sure he fell down this cave? He might have gone with Oliamr? Or been eaten.

Pik Pik then gave him a hard push. Louie CB fell down it screaming.

Pik Pik: That was hilarious! Now let's watch him being eaten by the creatures below!

Pik Pik bent over. But he lost his balance and began to fall before Crimson caught his legs. Scarlet had packed her two bags and was trudging past when she saw Crimson struggeling.

Scarlet: I can't leave you two alone without letting you nearly kill yourselves can I?

She started to pull, but Crimson started to slide down and pull her with him.

Scarlet: Uh oh. HELP!

Canary and Navy both heard and ran to help her. They both grabbed her legs, but the weight of Pik Pik and Crimson pulled her and them into the cave. They fell ontop of an unconcious Louie CB.

Scarlet: Oh damn

Pik Pik: Cool!

Canary: You idiots! You've killed us all! Five pikmin and Louie can't survive in a cave!

Pik Pik: Calm down. I'm sure we can survive. We just have to draw straws.

Navy: For what purpose.

Pik Pik: To see who we eat first of course!

Scarlet: We're dead


	8. Adventure 7

Adventure #7: Little Pik Pik and the Plan of Escape 

Last Time our friends got stuck down a cave with Louie Clone B. What will happen?

Louie Clone B: Calm down you little carrots. I'm a smart Hocotatian and not dumb like many people think. I have an average IQ for Hocotatians.

Scarlet: Which is?

Louie Clone B: 60...67!

Crimson: How smart is that?

Navy: We're doomed.

Pik Pik: Hey Crimson!

*Crimson goes to see Pik Pik.*

Canary: Can't we climb back out?

Scarlet: The hole is right in the middle of the ceiling. The only way we could get out is if we had a ladder.

Louie CB: The red carrot is right! We're dead.

Navy: What has the nitwit done now!

Pik Pik: Guess what! I found a helpless Bulborb Larvae on its own!

Crimson: Can we keep it!

Scarlet: AHHH YOU IDIOTS!

Canary: KILL IT!

Crimson: NO!

Pik Pik: You can't kill an innocent creature like Sammy!

Louie CB: You named it!

Navy: Don't you know that it can still kill you!

Pik Pik: It can?

He looked down at the Bulborb Larvae. It snapped at him. Shrieking, he dropped it.

Pik Pik: IT'S A FREAKIN' MONSTER!

Crimson: KILL IT!

Canary: I already said that!

They started to hit it before it rolled over nad dropped nectar.

Scarlet: Nectar!

Pik Pik & Crimson: Mine!

Navy: We should share.

But Crimson and Pik Pik had already drank it all.

Canary: You selfish greedy ********!

Pik Pik: *BURP*

Scarlet: Ugh! Nectar smell.

Louie CB: Now, about getting out?

Scarlet: Well, if Olimar came down here, then if we run we should catch up to him. Beside him we should be able to get out.

Navy: Good idea!

Louie CB: Except...

Canary: Except what?

Louie CB: This is the first time Olimar has come down into the...(gulp!)...Dream...Den.

Canary's, Scarlet's and Navy's mouths drop open.

Pik Pik: Oooh, Dream Den. Does that mean it's a Den of Dreams!

Crimson: Wow! I dream I wish I had lots of money.

*He waits a bit*

Crimson: I don't see it.

Pik Pik: Maybve it's further in?

Scarlet: Shut up you two! Now let's get going.

Louie CB: Yes, let's.

But before they could move, an Empress Bulblax rolls in. They stand frozen.

Scarlet: Pik Pik? Where did you find that Larvae?

Pik Pik: Beside a Empress Bulblax. Hey! That Empress Bulblax is the same one I found the Larvae next to!

Navy: You IMBICILE!

Louie CB: RUN!

Will they make it? Will they die? Will Pik Pik turn into a bulborb? Everything I can answer no to. Except the first one. That would contradict itself. Tune in next time!


	9. Adventure 8

Adventure #8: Little Pik Pik and the Secret Way Up 

The Empress Bulblax rolled onwards towards the small group. Since hocotatians had so small legs, Louie CB was goign to die pretty soon.

Louie CB: *********************************************************************

Navy: Keep your nasty language to yourself!

Canary: Couldn't I have some?

Pik Pik: AAAAAAH! I'm scared! I wish Sammy was still here! He could protect us!

Scarlet: He's what caused this mess!

Louie CB:   
><br>  
>!<p>

Louie CB was squished under the weight of the Empress Bulblax.

Pik Pik: Aw, did I miss him die?

Scarlet: Keep running you fool!

Navy: I have an idea. If we keep our horizontal velocity up this rate until we can find a solid and opaque obstacle, we could hide behind it and trick the Empress Bulblax that she had already squeezed our innards from our external body.

Scarlet: Sounds like a plan. And here comes that obstacle thing now!

Sure enough, they could see a big rock ahead of them. They quickly ran round it and hid in the shadows. They caught their breath.

Pik Pik: What does Oblake mean?

Canary: Non-see through

Crimson: What's 'see through'?

Scarlet: Don't bother explaining anything to them. They are like the why kids.

FLASHBACK!

Pik Kid 1: Why is the sky blue?

Scarlet: Because air particles reflect blue light.

Pik Kid 2: Why?

Scarlet: Because that's science.

Pik Kid 1: Why?

Scarlet: Because that's what pikmin have found out.

Pik Kid 2: Why?

CUT FROM FLASHBACK!

Scarlet:(Rocking back and forth on her knees) They just kept saying 'why?' over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...

Navy: I think you need a rest

Scarlet: Why?(She says in a slightly maddening or crazy tone)

Pik Pik: Yey! She's crazy! That means it's legal to eat her!

Canary: We aren't eating anyone

Crimson: Just a nibble?

Navy: Pik Pik does have a point?

Canary: Look stop it! Just because she's crazy doesn't mean we have to eat her.

Scarlet: Why?

Canary:...Okay, maybe you have a point.

Navy: She could get very annoying?...

?: Hello my friends

They turned around to see a purple pikmin listening to them.

Purple Pikmin: Are you lost?

Canary: Well, yeah

Purple Pikmin: Come with me

They followed the purple pikmin throught the cave to a flight of stairs.

Purple Pikmin: This is The Secret Way Up! You can leave by this

Canary: Well thanks. What's your name?

Purple Pikmin: Alonzo

Crimson: Pfpht!

Pik Pik: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA STUPID NAME HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA STUPID HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!

Alonzo: Well if you don't want to leave...

Pik Pik: Don't worry about us! We have Scarlet to survive on!

Scarlet: Why?

canary: Don't listen to him. He's retarded. Come on Pik Pik! back to the onion!

Alonzo: May I come?

Crimson: Take a hike fatty

Navy: He means yes in... dummin language

Alonzo: Oh thank you. I won't take much space!

Pik Pik: "Sure" you won't

Navy: Shut up! Now get up those stairs!

Pik Pik & Crimson: YES DRILL SERGEANT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT... (They march up the stairs)

Canary: Come on then Alonzo

And so they walked out together and Alonzo met everyone. But whilst he was meeting, Pik Pik had other plans.

Pik Pik: Pass me my 'people I've got to kill, mortally wound or severly annoy' list

Crimson passed him the list. Pik Pik wrote down Alonzo just under Louie Clone C.

Pik Pik: Hello Alonzo, for good!...Imean goodbye Alonzo... for good! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ya ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Crimson: Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Pik Pik: Shut up! Only I may laugh! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

The End! Again!


	10. Adventure 9

Adventure #9: Little Pik Pik and the Dream/Little Pik Pik's Lost Adventure

It was day like no other. Because it was night. And Pik Pik was snuggled with his teddy, in bed, above Crimson's. He was discussing the day's events with Crimson, and how crazy it had been.

Pik Pik: What a crazy day, eh?

Crimson: Not really.

Pik Pik: Yeah…

Crimson: Good night Pik Pik.

Pik Pik: Nighty nighty! Don't let the bulbmin bite!

Crimson: *uncovers his baseball bat* I won't.

And they slowly drifted into a deep, deep sleep…

Pik Pik: *yawn* Good mooooor…

Rose: Yo.

Pik Pik: …

Rose: You're late.

Pik Pik: Where am I?

Where were they? In a field. A really big field with hills rolling and a forest hiding on the west side. And flowers and grass danced in the breeze, like an ocean. And in the sky, the Sun was using a cloud as an umbrella to shield itself from the moon, who was in a huff after its limelight had been stolen. After all, it was still night.

Pik Pik: Am I dreaming?

Rose: Possibly. This world is a reflection on your real world.

Pik Pik: Who are you?

Rose: …Rose.

Pik Pik: …

Rose: I helped carry a pellet with you.

Pik Pik: Uh mumble mumble, er um…

Rose: I was almost killed by you, when you messed with that gun?

Pik Pik: There's a lot of pikmin…

Rose: Forget it.

Pik Pik: Why are you dressed like that?

Rose: As a white rabbit?

Pik Pik: What's a rabbit?

Rose: Just follow me for no reason.

And so Rose hopped away.

Pik Pik: Wait! Where can I find a suit like-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

And without warning, Pik Pik fell down a hole. Down he went, through clocks, rocking chairs and rowing boats.

Pik Pik: Hey granddad!

Grandpa Pik: Be home by nightfall!

And then he landed, flat on his face in a large hallway. It was intricately blue and at the end was a small door and a large table.

Pik Pik immediately tried to open the door. Unfortunately it was locked.

Pik Pik: Blast!

Luckily, on the table was a bottle, saying 'drink me'.

Pik Pik: Well this doesn't take a genius.

So he picked the door's lock and walked on through.

Pik Pik: Ah, refreshing waterAAAAAAAAH! I'M DROWNING!

Rose: No you're not.

Pik Pik: Hey you! This is my sea!

Rose: What may appear in possession of some, are actually in the possession of those you don't expect.

Pik Pik: It's my sea.

Rose: What that meant is, simply, no.

Pik Pik: Yeah, it is. Get out before I–Oh I can't swim…I'm gonna die!

Rose: Oh look. Shore.

Pik Pik: Lolwut?

And then the sea washed them onto the shore with an audible thud of wet carrots.

Farmer: *slaps wet carrots against his sink* AR! This be some mighty fine wet carrots! *munch*

Pik Pik: Woah, I'm on a beach. Or a boat. Either way, leads to some craaaaazy songs!

And then other pikavores began to wash up on the shore as well, all getting piled up on one another.

Pik Pik: Damn, it's like the bodies from the Battle of Hastings…ooh, was that another aiw reference? When do I get tea?

Rose: Oh we'll never get dry at this rate. Let's run a Caucus race-

Pik Pik: Sod this, I want tea!

So Pik Pik decided to skip a few chapters, and found himself in a dense and thick forest, populated by flora and fauna of incredible size.

Pik Pik: Have I shrunk?

Cananry: Indeed you have…

Pik Pik: Canary!

Canary was upon a toadstool, with arms on a very long and thin body, and he smoked a cigarette in his first left hand.

Canary: No, I'm the caterpillar!

Pik Pik: But caterpillars have lots of legs!

Canary: As do I.

Pik Pik: But those are arms.

Canary: Exactly, so I am a caterpillar.

Pik Pik: No but you don't have many legs.

Canary: I have an incredible amount!

Pik Pik: But those are arms.

Canary: I know, exactly.

Pik Pik: Exactly what?

Canary: I am a caterpillar.

Pik Pik: No, you need lots of legs.

Canary: Good, because I do.

Pik Pik: Those are arms.

Canary: They are in many.

Pik Pik: But that doesn't make you a caterpillar.

Canary: Why not?

Pik Pik: Because you need a lot of legs.

Canary: Since I do.

Pik Pik: But you have lots of arms, not legs.

Canary: Your point being?

Pik Pik: You can't be a caterpillar.

Canary: But I am.

Pik Pik: But you don't have a lot of legs.

Canary: Yes I do.

Pik Pik: Those are arms.

Canary: Exactly.

Pik Pik: …

Canary: …

Pik Pik: …

Canary: …*hands him a piece of mushroom*

Pik Pik: …*eats the mushroom piece*

Suddenly, Pik Pik grew out of the grass, and appeared at the front door of a house. It was a very nice house of white paint and pillars that held up nothing and gutters that led no water. And outside the house sat a pikmin with the head of a Wollywog. And then came a pikmin that passed a letter to the Wollymin, and that pikmin had the head of a wogpole.

Wogmin: A letter for the duchess.

Wollymin: For the duchess, a letter.

Then he left.

Pik Pik: So I was in the garden the whole time, just small..wow!

Pik Pik approached the wollymin, who glared from either side of the sides of which he glared. And then Pik Pik decided he would enter the home of the whomever lived in the house.

Pik Pik: Are you going to go inside?

Wollymin: I'm-

Pik Pik: DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR ILFE STORY! If my past experiences have taught me anything… *picks the lock* SUCCESS!

Inside the stately home of white, was a pikmin holding some bundle of something, another pikmin throwing things about and a cat in a basket.

Pik Pik: Alonzo! You're the Duchess!

Alonzo: I'm the Duke! Duchesses are women.

Pik Pik: What's the difference to us?

Alonzo: …Atchoo!

Pik Pik: *sneezes* Pepper?

Alonzo: Yessum. My cook's making some soup…Mock Turtle Soup!

Pik Pik: Lovely, I want some tea, have any?

Alonzo: Just out that door and down the way.

Pik Pik: Thanks Alonzo.

Alonzo: No prob Alice.

Cat: The way to run is fraught only with items you dropped whence arriving to your initial start.

Pik Pik: And pig Penelope to you too.

Alonzo: Take my baby *passes the bundle to Pik Pik*

Pik Pik: It's pellet.

Alonzo: What did you expect.

Pik Pik: A pellet.

Alonzo: So don't sound disappointed.

So then Pik Pik was chucked outside the house, and sent to follow a long and twisty path. The forest loomed gloomily with doom and dusk light, but it wasn't until he reached the table and tea set that the light began to really turn to orange and bath everything in its warm glow, that the flowers danced gleefully in.

Pik Pik: Damn, this place is actually quite magical…it's full of wonder and glee! It should be named…Wonderland. Ah, see, got you going there!

Crimson: Good Beforevening!

Pik Pik: Crimson! You're the Mad Hatter!

Crimson: Not in the slightest bit correct! I have no hat!

Pik Pik: Touché. So you're the March Hare?

Navy: Indeed and indefinitely he is, or shall be, as is the case.

Pik Pik: Oh, you're the Mad Hatter.

Navy: I am not mad, nor am I a hatter, I wear no frown nor have constructed a hat in my excuse of a life.

Pik Pik: Tea?

Navy: Yes please!

Crimson: Two sugars!

Pik Pik sat down at the table and had some tea.

Pik Pik: So, why have tea?

Navy: Time has escaped me, after I tried to cling to her. He left me and now I must forever rely on my trusty watch to admit that the time is six o'clock, quite sadly. So it always time for tea. Not even our fair sun sets on our dining etiquette.

Crimson: Without a leave to leave the table.

Navy: Would you like a pun?

Pik Pik: Yeah okay *takes a pun from the plate* Lovely!

Navy: I made them myself. Now answer me this, why is a raven like a writing desk?

Pik Pik: I expect I cannot and doughnut know the answer.

Crimson: That is not the talk of mad, that is mad talk.

Pik Pik: Same thing?

Navy: Nonsense, else it would be said that a 'hat of mine' is the same as 'mine of hats', which is an extraordinary idea in the speak of honesty.

Pik Pik: I'm starting to feel a little afraid.

Navy: I would show you our dormouse, but such a creature does not exist in our world.

Pik Pik: Thanks for the tea anyway.

Crimson: Toodle pip and bon voyage!

Navy: And 'Poe schrieb am beides'!

Pik Pik: Thanks (nutter).

So Pik Pik wandered off from the tea party of madness and headed in yet another direction. And so he entered a garden of many coloured roses. Well, red roses. And because Pik Pik had been so quick, the white roses had not been painted. The green hedges and grass made up the large garden that expanded into a field of many croquet hoops for play. And it seemed the Queen of Hearts entered just at that moment too, disregarding the white roséd bush.

Pik Pik: I should have guessed.

Scarlet: You should have. Owned much?

Pik Pik: What's with the big field of things? Some British thing?

Scarlet: Croquet?

Pik Pik: I'd love one.

Scarlet: No, it's a game.

Pik Pik: Lolwut?

Scarlet: Grab a flamingo.

Pik Pik: This sounds creepy.

Scarlet: Bring out the hedgehogs!

So the red pikmin, dressed in card outfits, brought out two hedgehogs. Scarlet immediately began to play, and hit the hedgehog with the flamingo through three hoops.

Pik Pik: AH! RSPCA! Arrest! Arrest!

And so a van crashed through three hedges and into Red…who oddly was there. Sadly, he was no longer. Three men in black suits jumped out.

Black Man: RSPCA! You're under arrest!

Scarlet: But I'm the queen! And it's…this…so you leave everyone else but me!

Black Man: No one else hit a hedgehog with a flamingo! Into the van!

Scarlet: I demand for a lawyer!

Black Man: Who?

Alonzo: Yo.

Pik Pik: This is becoming a little off story?

Alonzo: Give us a week fellas? We've got a few trials the queen has to be present for.

Black Man: Ah okay. Gimmee some skin. *Alonzo gives him some skin* …

Alonzo: Don't use it all at once.

So the Black Man threw the skin in the van and drove off the grounds.

Scarlet: Alright, get off my course before you lose your head!

Pik Pik:

_Orange's yellow, Billy Billy, orange's red,  
>When I am King, Billy Billy, you'll lose your head.<em>

Scarlet: Aw, in the eye-wuh spirit!

Alonzo: Let's go see the Gryphon?

Pik Pik: I don't know…skip th-

Alonzo: Hey, Disney missed out a very overlooked part of the story! The Mock Turtle had some limelight and by god we are going to give it him! Now we are not conforming to other's imitations, with mix and matches and condensed versions, we are going to see the Gryphon and the Mock Turtle!

Pik Pik: Okay! Fine! Let's go!

So they headed off on some sort of way to find the gryphon, who was not a fusion of an eagle and a lion, but a fusion of a snitchbug and a bulborb, which did not work too well as the snitchbug wings could not hold up the large body of the bulborb. And so his head was always on the ground. Like an ostrich. Which doesn't exist on the pikmin planet.

Pik Pik: An ostrich?

Alonzo: And lo behold! Gryphon! Show him the Mock Turtle.

Gryphon: Whyyyyyyyy? All he does is cryyyyyyyy.

Alonzo: Nevertheless, he must be seen to!

Gryphon: Riiiiiiight. Follow me Pik Pik.

Pik Pik: How did you know my name!

Gryphon: Iiiiiii hacked your bank account.

Pik Pik: So you're the one who bought those flamingo dancing lessons.

Announcer: If you've been subjected to Identity theft, call CapitalOne, and we'll sort it all out.

WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET!

Pik Pik: Anyway, the Mock Turtle?

Gryphon: From which Mock Turtle Soup is made from.

And they headed onto a beach, with a rock indistinguishable from a turtle, but of which Pik Pik realised was a rock, but not before biting into it, recoiling, and biting again.

Pik Pik: *toothache…* So where's this Mock Turtle?

Gryphon: Oh dear, I believe the cook must have caught him.

Pik Pik: Oh yeah, I referenced it earlier! Woops!

Gryphon: Siiiiiiigh…

Pik Pik: Say pie.

Grypon: Piiiiiiie?

Pik Pik: That made my day.

Gryphon: But now, let's attend the trial.

And so the Gryphon shuffled, with its head on the floor, Pik Pik to the courtroom. It was very big and there were a number of people and places that I can't name because I've never been to a courtroom…yet Pik Pik had, a grand total of seven times.

Pik Pik: Who's he? *points to the judge*

Gryphon: Iiiiiii'm sorry, Iiiiiii haven't a clue.

Pik Pik: *Scottish* You'll have your tea, then, Dougal.

Jury: *applauds* Wahey!

Alonzo: Aw man, that's like the very first fully British joke we've done!

Scarlet: SILENCE!

Pik Pik: Hey! Who are you!

Cerise: I'm the King of Hearts?

Pik Pik: Nah, like in reality.

Cerise: This is reality!

Pik Pik: B-

Scarlet: SIIIIIIIIILEEEEEEENCE!

Pik Pik: Jeez Louise!

Rose: Alright, um, we here preside over the Knave of *eyes the knave* Knave of…knave of…of h…of what?

Lemon: Hearts?

Rose: You sure?

Lemon: Hey, don't be racist!  
>Rose: Alright, well there's a poem describing what happened…<p>

_The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,  
><em>_  
>All on a summer day:<em>

_The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,_

_And took them quite away!_

Pik Pik: How British…

Cerise: First witness!

Navy: How do you do, and a good day to you! Ah, a rhyme has crept upon me. Get me my broom, Hare!

Crimson: Broom at hand.

Cerise: *whilst Navy brooms himself* What is your evidence.

Navy: The evidence is evidently very convincing? I shall depart or deport…no depurt the…deprent? No let me try something else. *coughs* Die Beweise habe ich keine.

Cerise: Pardon you?

Navy: Ich habe aber nicht bekam nicht ein wenig Beweise, auf die ich kann nicht der Bube als nicht unschuldig.

Cerise: Speak in the correct tongue!

Navy: I would if I could, but the fact is my mother tongue be not the tongue I speak most fruitful or truthful with.

Cerise: Are you saying you lie in English?

Navy: A federacy or a penalty? Oh dear, I've muddled the meanings...is this trial famed, famous or infamous? And which sounds the worst or most worse...

Cerise: Enough! Speak in your tongue, as long as the tongue may be understanded by I or elseone. You must remain in tongue until the trial is over!

Navy: Danke, aber ich weiß nicht, was passiert ist. Ich habe keinen Anteil an dieser Jam-Fee Fruchtfliege.

Pik Pik: He said Jam!

Scarlet: Jam is in tarts! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Lemon: I have an alibi!

Cerise: Explain!

Lemon: I was...I was baking! Yeah!

Cerise: Not good enough-

Lemon: I have more! I was at my sister's, I was on a train, I was at hospital, I was helping a mock turtle, I was in France, I WAS WATCHING CITIZEN KANE!

Scarlet: More witnesses!

Rose: Call the cook!

Cook: *holds up the mock turtle*

Pik Pik: Oh that's a mock turtle!

Cerise: So the Cook has had the mock turtle all along…your alibi is weak!

Lemon: NOOO!

Suddenly, without a moment's rush or hurry, Pik Pik began to grow and grow and grow, to increasingly enormous sizes.

Cerise: You! Stop growing! How indecent!

Pik Pik: Yay! Now I'm taller than all of you!

Scarlet: OOOOFffffffmmmmm…that's bad.

Cerise: Er, Rule 42! No one over a mile high is allowed in the courtroom!

Pik Pik: I'm barely a mile high!

Scarlet: More like 2 miles.

Cerise: Compare him with Alonzo.

Alonzo: Hey!

Pik Pik: I have no need to listen to you all! You're just some friends who I meet in reality!

Lemon: I have an alibi!

Cerise: My goodness.

Rose: Bring.

Pik Pik: I'm sorry.

But without a warning, Rose pulled a rope, that opened the ceiling and a cascade of water fell on Pik Pik's face, and he woke up in bed, with Crimson laughing his face round the other way in front of him.

Crimson: Wake up! Work time!

Pik Pik: That was so weird! I dreamt I was in a…wonderland! And you were there, and Scarlet, and Navy and Canary and-

Cerise: Hello there friend?

Pik Pik: *stares*

Cerise: …I think I'll move along…

Pik Pik: Who's he?

Crimson: Cerise. New favourite of Olimar's.

Pik Pik: He was in my dream! He was a king…

Crimson: Ooh flashforward? Predictions?

Pik Pik: If so-

Crimson: Hey Navy!

Navy looked at them. He had a grave look on his face and glared angrily.

Crimson: What's the matter?

Navy: Wir haben nie beendete die Studie!

And then Pik Pik just stared in disbelief.


End file.
